I Cry, Laugh, and Scream at a Total Stranger in the Span of Two Minutes Because Another Stranger Told Me To.

(EDIT: Just found out that I booked this gig!)

So I get called into an audition with this other young dude. I've never talked to him in my life. At this point, I haven't even said "Hi" yet. Don't remember his name.

Casting director says "You're best friends and you're watching a very sad video. Start crying."

Next thing I know we're sobbing into each other's arms, my face buried in his shoulder as we curse the world for being so cruel. "Why, God? WHY?!?!?!"

Casting director says "Video's over, and now you're both pumped up. You need to do something constructive. Build a fort."

There's a bookcase behind me. NOT part of our acting space. I grab some books out of it and we start making the crappiest fort in the history of forts. We smile and laugh at our stronghold of positive energy, still a bit emotional. "This thing is going to be a beacon for all of humanity!" I declare.

Casting director says "Now one of you makes an addition the other one doesn't like."

My best friend tries to add a secret door, which horrifies me. "This is a fort of HONESTY, man! Don't bring your lies to this sacred place!" I start building the fort in a way that blocks him from being involved. He gets mad and knocks the whole thing over, which causes a bunch of CDs that were in the books to come flying out to the floor. "YOU'VE SPILLED THE ARCHIVES!!!" I shout.

Next thing I know, we're screaming at each other at the top of our lungs and throwing books at each other, culminating in the other guy calling me something that rhymes with "stunt." The casting director says "Whoa, okay! That's enough!"

We stop and look up. They're laughing their butts off. I kinda forgot they were there. "Well... Didn't expect it to go that way," one of them says. "Thanks a lot!"

The two of us leave the room and take off going opposite directions, strangers again.

Dunno if either of us will get cast, but we definitely made an impression on those poor saps. Just
another job interview in Los Angeles...

Making a Reel: Uploaded and ready to go!

When we last left our hero, he was engaging in a healthy round of Facepalm after futilely smashing his head against the horrors of assembling reel footage, like scissors trying to beat rock. Nothing was going his way, and it seemed all was lost.

AND THEN...

My First Acting Reel!

There it is! I can't believe it's finally done! Just when I was about to give up on a pretty important chunk of the reel, a professional editor friend of mine said "Uh. I can convert those files for you." AND IT WAS SO!

Special thanks to David Haverty for getting me the 1000 Ways to Die footage. And an honorable mention goes to my Dad for having his heart in the right place by videotaping the TV screen of my Operation Repo footage and snail mailing me the CD.

Ultimately, I decided that my Repo footage really didn't showcase me in any especially helpful way, so I figured I'd ditch it. A good reel should DEFINE YOU as an actor. My reel showcases me as a mostly comedic actor with a unique physical build capable of playing some very diverse roles. Some would ask why not throw in a dramatic scene or two? Well, because since I've been in LA, I've never been cast in a drama. Not once.

This tells me that, based on their first impressions, casting directors think I should be funny. I can cry about this or I can embrace it and show them that by heck, I am pretty funny! This is what potential agents will be expecting of me as well, I'm thinking. Besides, money from comedies is just as spendable as the boo-hooey stuff.

That being said, I would like to showcase the more grounded side of my skill-set soon. There are a lot of places in LA where you can pay professionals to shoot specific content for your reel, and I suspect in the nearish future I may pay some friends at ProduceYourReel a visit....

But for now, I'm going to see how far this one takes me.

Some quick demo reel tips that I've picked up this last month or so:

-Always put your name first so the directors actually know whose reel they're watching, and make sure CONTACT INFO is clearly displayed at the end. You could maybe put some contact info with your name in the beginning too, but I felt like that might be overkill for mine.

-The SHORTER THE BETTER. If you're a nobody (like me!) then don't you dare go longer than two minutes. If you can do it in one, so much the better. Don't waste time making sure viewers understand every little thing of what's going on in the scene. They aren't watching a movie, they're watching you. Once the character, emotion and arc of the scene is established, MOVE ON!

-Simple, simple, simple! Don't waste people's time with scrolling graphics or clever transitions. Casting directors don't care about your fancy editing skills.

-Also... and I know this seems obvious, but make sure any given clip actually has you doing something interesting. If it's a boring scene or crappy writing, even if you're good in it, you're probably better off not putting it in there. Unless it's a really recognizable show. Which brings me to...

-Put your biggest accomplishments up there first, then scroll back in order of importance. You have about ten seconds to capture a casting director's attention, and "Hey! I know this show!" just about always helps in that regard.

Anyway, hopefully that was informative to you folks. I'll keep you posted as I submit this bad boy to various agents and managers all over town. Wish me luck!

How to be a "Real" Actor

I've noticed a growing trend in the roles I've been going out for lately. Here's a snippet of the last couple of character breakdowns that I've auditioned for:

REAL to slight character looking. He's REAL and relatable...

REAL to character looking...

...REAL with character to very character teen...

Within the past couple of years, it's become important for casting directors to find actors who are "real." You can't go to an audition anywhere in this town without being asked to look real. But what in blazes does a real actor look like?

The first step to being real is looking like a real person. Just what the heck does that mean, you ask? You need to look just like "somebody you'd see on the street." Not specific enough for you? Okay, well let me try again...

Real Actor

To be real, you can't look like a big glamorous super star. Just look like a normal person! But at the same time, remember to stand out apart from your competitors or you won't get the gig. But don't try too hard, or then you won't be relatable anymore. They want somebody who is both mediocre and attractive. Just be real!

Not a Real Actor

Being real isn't just in your looks either! It's in how you act as well. You want to be approachable and down to Earth. (But don't forget to have more confidence and pizzazz than your competitors!)

Sometimes you'll be going for a role that is "Real to character looking." This simply means that they're looking for an actor who looks both subtle and animated at the same time. It's as easy as being told to act "Happy to sad!"

(If you're as befuddled as I am, don't worry. If you're alive and breathing, congratulations, you're real. When casting directors ask for a real actor, they're basically just saying "We're looking for an actor that we want to cast." Real means something different to each casting director, and you don't have much control over what that's going to mean. It shouldn't affect your performance at all. Go in there and ride the hurricane of chaos that is auditioning, and don't give it a second thought.)

52 Sketches in 52 Days: Audition

Sooo the Reel process is still going VERY slowly. But! I shall persist! In the meantime, here's our newest sketch!

Audition (#5)

The very lovely model/actress Aqueela Zoll graced us with her talent for this one, and I think she knocked it out of the park. Or at least the pie.

As I mentioned earlier, we're starting to bring in a lot of new blood for future sketches. I was initially nervous to ask people. "Who are these amateurs?" they would think to themselves. "I'm a REAL actor!" I only knew Aqueela through an audition (ironically), but she was totally on board when I gave her a call. More often than not, I'm starting to find, most actors in LA tend to be flattered that you thought of them and are usually more than happy to help out. Especially if they get some good reel footage out of the deal.

Shooting everything in one take like that really forced us to rehearse each moment carefully. The process was similar to theater more than film. We couldn't just fire off spontaneous jokes off the top of our heads or go off script too far. Especially since we only had one pie. We also had to stop a bunch of times because some evil dog kept barking outside and screwing up the sound. 

Keep showing the love, folks. Share us with your friends. We promise we're housebroken! Now if you'll excuse me, I think there's some leftover pie sitting in the kitchen...

Making a Reel: Hunting for Footage

"Do you have a good reel?"

It's a question that always makes me squirm. "Er... I'm working on it," I'll mutter. Then the person will inevitably smile politely and say something like "Oh, I see" before changing the subject. It's the one big chink in my armor that still exposes me as an unprofessional boob.

To be fair, not every new actor in LA needs a reel the first day they get here. When I arrived last October nobody had filmed me in anything besides the occasional home video shot by mommy and daddy.

Casting directors will not be impressed.

So the first task of a befuddled LA actor who's trying to make a reel is to get cast in things. But wait, don't I need a reel to get cast? Well, yes. Shut up. 

Do crap for free. If you think you're getting good material out of it, whore that talent of yours out to any pimply college kid who comes your way. Then ruthlessly forget his name after you get your first Oscar nod.

I'm at a place in my career where I've shot enough solid material though, so I've run out of excuses. 

I now have to embark on a giant email quest to actually obtain a copy of everything. You can't just rip stuff straight off of Youtube, alas. It's a lot of "Hi! Remember me?" (They probably don't.) "Could you take some time out of your super busy day to send me that piece I did for you awhile back?"

Most of these people I haven't talked to in months. And from what I hear there's always that one guy who I'll have to pester twenty thousand times until his only choice is to either give me what I want or rip his own eyeballs out in annoyance. 

But I gotta do what I gotta do. A good reel will open doors for me in ways that a headshot can't. I'll keep you guys posted on my process and would appreciate any advice from you veterans out there. Soon I'll be able to answer "Do you have a good reel?" with "Heck yeah I do! And it's better than yours, dummy!"

Or something like that.