It's a Hit!

Well, looks like we did something right.

The past two performances sold out with a vengeance. Tonight we packed that sucker to full capacity and then some, seemed like. This chivalrous playwright actually gave his seat up and watched from the booth.

People linger after the show to discuss the play and shake my hand until Note kicks us out. Everybody keeps telling me how smart/mature/talented I am.

It's all pretty overwhelming stuff for a scrawny kid who always got picked last in dodgeball. (Their loss. I can dodge those suckers like a spider monkey.)

I guess the only thing I'm really trying to convey in this little post is "Wow." And "Thank you." So grateful and humbled by everybody who's come out and made this thing a success so far, and I can't wait to see the last half of the run.

Also, I'd be remiss if I didn't include a huge thank you to Michael Nankin, without whom this play never would've been the same.

I'm Going Places

When I first got to Los Angeles, any time people asked me what I did, I would always say "Oh, I'm an 'actor' right now" or "I'm trying to act." or "I'm trying to maybe get into the acting business someday. Perhaps."

Gee, who wants to hire that guy?

The thing I didn't realize was that even at those parties and coffee shops, I was auditioning. The aura of success around you is often just as important as actually succeeding out here.

Now that sounds like a bunch of LA bullshit, but it's really just as simple as how you present yourself. A friend of mine was talking about this on the way to a screening with me today: If a police officer is on the way to a crime scene, he doesn't sit in traffic on the 405 and maybe change lanes every once in awhile. That dude BLARES THOSE SIRENS because he's getting where he's going and he wants everybody to know it.

Even when I did get gigs, I would shrug sheepishly and mutter to the ground "Yeah, I booked this modeling gig for a Del Toro movie" almost as though I was ashamed of it. Because God forbid somebody might think you're smug! Gasp!

Not anymore. I trumpet my successes from the mountain tops. When people ask me how I've been doing, I look them straight in the eye and say "I'm great. My KIA commercial just aired and I can't wait for my next project. Let me tell you about it..." 

And ya know what? It works! Even in dry spells, I'll run into friends who say "You're really doing well out here!" They see me with a new respect, because I respect my own successes first. And that respect, in turn, creates new opportunities for people who remember you as an artist whose career is on the rise.

How I booked my first national commercial!

I was on the set of some little cheapy movie as a background actor, dully waiting around in between takes. It was near the end of the day, and I was getting tired of moving my mouth and pretending to talk while the "real" actors did their thing. Also: no air conditioning. I looked down and saw that I had a voicemail. It was from my agent, and all she said was "Give me a call. I have some things I need to go over with you." My first thought was Great. What do I need to spend money on now?

I called her and the first thing she said was "You booked the Kia commercial with Blake Griffin! Congratulations!!!"

My brain initially had trouble figuring out whether it should be excited, grateful, relieved, empowered, or just plain unbelieving. I think I settled for something like "Wow!"

The first national commercial is a pretty huge step in the right direction for a young actor like myself. Without even mentioning the SWEET residuals that usually come with a car commercial, I'm also automatically eligible to join SAG-AFTRA whenever I want. (All I need is 3,000 bucks!) It can take people YEARS to get their union card. I probably won't join it instantly (I discuss the pros and cons of that move a little more in depth here.) but it's AWESOME to have that in my back pocket. I'm also gearing up for a theatrical agent hunt, so a national commercial will be a GREAT thing to have on my reel.

Now I know what you're thinking. "Nathan! Just a few posts ago you were going on and on about how subjective commercial auditions are! One week later and you booked one! You were just exaggerating!"

Okay, first of all, stop using so many exclamation marks. Secondly, let me walk you through my audition process for this. I walked into the room. They said "Look confused." So I did this:

"Not that confused," they said. So I did this:

"Now as if you really like it." I did this:

"Thanks, that's all we need!" AND I WALKED OUT THE DOOR. I must have been in there all of thirty seconds. Five days later, I got the gig. I didn't make any outstanding acting choices. I didn't schmooze with the directors. I just made a couple funny faces and took off before they stopped laughing.

More importantly, in the moments when I felt exhausted and was thinking about giving up, I STUCK WITH IT. Instead of quitting after that dog walking commercial audition, I went to the next one. THAT'S how you get jobs.

And, you know, magically looking exactly like the part they need helps too.

"I Just Don't Think I Can Do It."

Here's an old post that I wrote on a long-forgotten xanga account a few months ago, but I thought it had enough relevance to repost here. Very quickly in your first year as an actor, there will come a time where you think "What the heck am I doing here?" I asked myself that question last March, and this is what I came up with:

I guess what it all comes down to is, if I could go back in time, would I move out here again?

The decision to move to California is without a doubt the biggest and scariest thing I've ever done with my life. I left behind a girlfriend that I loved, friends who had my back, and a family who shaped me into the person that I am today. Essentially, I destroyed my old life to start a new one in a city where thousands of people are clawing over each other, trying to do the exact same thing I am. The odds of me failing miserably are almost certain. So if I could go back, would I change anything?

Nope.

What I realize is that failure is never the end. In fact, the only way to succeed is by failing. Even though there are plenty of times where I sit around my cramped apartment with next to no income, worrying about how long my savings are going to last, obsessively puzzling about how to break into an industry that is as airtight as Alcatraz, missing people from home, at the same time I realize that I'M DOING IT! THIS IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT.

To chase a dream is to fail and fail and fail and fail and fail and maybe one day succeed. And yet, this is the conflict that makes life worth living. If I had kept my old life, I would have gone absolutely crazy. I would have asked myself every day, "How might things have turned out if I'd been braver?" Nothing's wrong with settling down, but (for me anyway) settling down is something I have to EARN. It's a nice, well-deserved rest after a bitter struggle for my own destiny. 

And what an exciting struggle! I've been in music videos, TV shows, Shakespearean plays, a short play WRITTEN BY ME, a PSA, and indie short films! I've met nationally renowned casting directors and I've met lowly homeless people, dying of AIDS and wanting somebody to talk to. In a way, success and failure is irrelevant. What it's really all about is making the ride as wild as you can. As nice as the merry-go-round is, you're inevitably gonna wanna graduate to a roller-coaster. (Even if sometimes you're so scared that you nearly crap yourself.) And that's what I'm doing. 

Another nice thing about failure: They make the successes that much sweeter. Case in point: AS I WAS WRITING THIS, I got an unexpected phone call that opened yet another little window of opportunity for my fledgling artistic career. It's like getting hit with a lightning bolt made of candy! 

Be wise, be fearless, and never lose faith. You can ALWAYS push through until tomorrow.